The story of J

J had the greatest smile and was very athletic. He would not work and swore a lot. He would be doing great and suddenly start swearing and if upset with another student he would throw chairs at them - quick temper. He had unexpected crying spells which came from nowhere. I had spent 3 weeks trying to contact the home but all I could do was leave messages that were never returned. He was new to our school. I had very little information to work with on this young boy.

Finally, a counselor came in and asked me how J was doing since his dad died? I was floored. His dad had died during the summer and I had no clue. That explained a lot. (He had talked about a ride in a big limosine but gave no clue it was a funeral.) I was also told his mom died 3 years ago during a gang shoot out. I did not know if she was an innocent victim or anything. His dad died of a heart attack and he was only 30 years old.

He was now living with an aunt and her six kids. She took in J and his younger sister. The counselor had not seen J and we worked together to get the aunt to come to school. I sent notes and called. She finally took time off from work to come. Minimum wage jobs mean that time off means no money and with 10 mouths to feed she could not take much time off. I found out that J's aunt was an angel. She did not have enough for herself and her kids, yet she could not let her nephew and niece become wards of the state. They lived in a cramped 3 bedroom apartment.

He started back with counseling. I was able to talk to him about my mother and father's passing and the feelings associated with death. It is OK to be sad. His aunt was always there for him. He gradually got better and started working in school. He improved in Reading more so than most of the kids. He talked about his dad and how his dad's heart caused his dad great pain before he died. He was never the happy go lucky kid but he did become a kidder and I was pleased when that side of him started to show.

At the end of the year, the aunt got a better job and they were able to move into a new and bigger house. He moved to another school. I made sure the next teacher knew the background of J.