Living like a founding father: Drunk, piss all over myself and bug bites galore.

http://www.vice.com/read/living-like-a-founding-father-left-me-drunk-and-covered-in-leeches

Our nation's 240th birthday bonanza, the Fourth of July, is right around the corner. Because I am blessed with a boundless love for America and the noble dudes who founded it, I decided the best way to honor them was to spend four days living like they would have in 1776.

As delightfully patriotic as that sounded on paper, I didn't consider the fact that John Adams chugged a few mugs of hard cider each morning, that Ben Franklin spent an hour a night waggling his dirty dick out of his window, or that George Washington was so convinced that bloodletting was the key to health that he let his doctor slice him open until his veins ran dry.

By day four of my experiment, my liver was calling for surrender like Cornwallis at Yorktown, my unwashed body emitted a stench so revolting that my roommate refused to sleep in our apartment, and I was covered in piss because chamberpots have a surprisingly steep learning curve. I also had oozing sores on my stomach that refused to heal. My patriotism, though, was at an all-time high. Here's what happened click the link for the funny details.