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Freedom-loving Chicagoans are surely excited to finally be able to carry concealed firearms, especially folks with a particularly pressing need to protect themselves, like the cell phone store owner who, defending himself from an armed robber, sprang into action to put a bullet in the chest of a 27-year-old man at the bus stop across the street, and another through the wall of the apartment of a nearby family of five, and into their TV set. Take that, knave! Whoever you are, that is. Because he left the scene, unharmed. But he didn’t get away with the money! Which is a good thing, because maybe the store owner should pick up the hospital tab for the poor fellow across the street, or the repair bills for his neighbor’s walls, not to mention the TV. Still, freedom! Where else but in America could 16 hours of training buy you such deadly accuracy? Assuming you think public transportation and private consumer electronics are tyrannical that is.
In other news, with the deer season winding down, the temporary spike in hunting-related accidents looks to be on its way down, too. By the time November rolled over into December, hunting accidents were steady at nine, up just one from the previous week. But in GunFAIL, kid season is year-round, and another 14 were hit in the week from November 29th through December 5th. Eighteen people accidentally shot themselves, and five were shot by family members or significant others.
Ohio reestablished itself as the GunFAIL capital of the north, contributing seven of our original 46 incidents in this listing, but even more remarkably, racking up six reports in a row on December 2nd and 3rd alone! This installment also marks the continuation of the tradition of gun show accidents, logging one from out of the Crossroads of the West gun show in Phoenix, AZ. How did it happen? Well, in addition to a buyer & friend a little too itchy to get started enjoying the new gun before even leaving the show, a vendor appears to have violated the show’s strict policy against loaded guns inside the show hall (which makes the show a “gun free zone,” since as we know from being told so often, an unloaded gun is a mere hunk of useless metal). This firearms expert also confounded the secondary level of safety precautions, by zip-tying the pistol he was selling (also required by show management) through the magazine well rather than through the chamber and the barrel. While that prevents a magazine from being inserted, it doesn’t render the gun incapable of firing, nor demonstrate that the chamber is empty. And I guess it wasn’t! Thanks, gun expert!
It was also a rough week for take-out food delivery workers. A pizza delivery boy in Michigan was accidentally shot through the wall by a man showing off his gun in the barber shop next door. Two days later, in Toledo, a delivery worker was accidentally shot at a customer’s home by—get this—a gun knocked off a table by his dog. What’s your favorite amendment, Rex? Woof! Woof! That’s right! The Second! Who’s a good shot? Who’s a good shot? You are! Yes you are!
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