A friend died today.

She was a counselor at my school but had to leave midyear last year because of breast cancer issues which she had been fending off for 11 years.

She and I worked with the hardest kids at my school and we worked together to improve the lives of the kids in our trust.  If I needed an idea, I would talk to her and if she needed an idea she talked to me. She would fly south to get blood tests taken and for my first couple of years she would talk about the improving numbers.  Last year, she would go south for the tests but she would not share her numbers with me but say, 'I am doing fine,'  Then she left work on a disability for the cancer.

Whenever I saw her in her yard working on her garden, I would stop and she would give me a hug and we would take about our kids and what we have been doing.  It was always such a pleasant meeting.  She would grill me on my kids and grandkids and then want updates our our students.  She would tell me about her kids, husband and the trips they were able to do.

Last week, I was at an end of the year gathering and I asked if Terry would be there and I was told she was doing poorly.  Another friend who had taken her to Hawaii with her family told me that she saw her that morning and she could be gone within hours, days or weeks.

All of her family had come to see her so I did not want to interfere and hoped for the best knowing it probably would be ending sooner than later.  She had hospice care and pain medication at the ready, which means that the end is near from my perspective.  Historically:  Once the people I know got to push a pain med button on demand, they died within days.

I saw her about a month ago.  She was walking by the school in an evening and she said Rich.  I went over to her and gave her a hug.  She was walking the dog.  She told me she got back from San Francisco about a week and a half before.  She said they found tumors in her brain and she had them zapped with lasers - poof, they were gone.  She said she left the zapping machine, was wheeled to the airport and flew to Seattle and back to Alaska.  She was up and about a day later.  She had high hopes and was impressed with the technology.

Terry Gonwa was a fighter, for herself, her family, her students and for society as a whole.  She was told she has 6 months to live 10 years ago and she said she had kids to raise and took on the cancer.
She wanted to see her kids through high school but leaves one in HS.

I saw Terry live her life with dignity and caring for others.  She helped teach me how to live my life.
Terry Gonwa also taught me how to die.

Rest in Peace my dear friend,  Terry Gonwa.  You will be missed.