The United States is just about as divided as it has been since the Civil War and it’s all because of Donald Trump.
But, lucky for us, some can always be counted on to bring us humor in dark times. America’s favorite late night show host just came out of retirement to deliver an epic blow to Trump: Jon Stewart.
Stewart retired from television a couple of years ago, leaving his Comedy Central program to Trevor Noah. But just because he is not hosting anymore doesn’t mean that he has changed at all.
In fact, he was back on television last night on the Late Show with Stephen Colbert to discuss President Donald Trump.
Steward wore an oversized red tie and fur hat, joking that he “thought this is how men dressed now.” Stewart then stated, “The president sets men’s fashion, and I saw the inauguration: super long tie, dead animal on head, boom.”
Then Stewart gave insight on what Trump’s next orders would say:
‘By the authority vested in me by the Constitution, I, Donald J. Jonah Jameson Trump, hereby direct that to secure our border, China shall immediately, and without hesitation, send us their wall, done, boom.’
Then, after going through the second one, which was a proclamation that the official language of the U.S. is now “bullsh*t,” Stewart arrived on the third, which quickly turned into an epic pro-resistance rant.
The third “executive order” began, “I, Donald J. Trump, am exhausting.”
‘I, Donald J. Trump, am exhausting, because it is going to take relentless stamina, vigilance, and every institutional check and balance this great country can muster to keep me from going full Palpatine with the lightning coming out of the finger tips.’
‘No one action will be adequate, all actions will be necessary. And if we do not allow Donald Trump to exhaust our fight, and somehow come through this presidency calamity-less, then I, Donald J. Trump, will have demonstrated the greatness of America, just not the way I thought I was going to.’