Friday, June 17, 2016

Memo to GOP: Trump is yours! You made him! Blame yourself if you have a problem.

Out of 17 candidates for the Republican nomination, you went with the one who is the least attached to Republican principles and the most similar to a processed cheese product. “This is how we will get our voices heard and help improve people’s lives,” you more or less said, “by attaching ourselves like remora fish to the dumbest fucking shark in the entire goddamn electoral ocean.” And now you’re avoiding reporters and family members and, who knows, random passers-by because your chosen candidate is “a flip-flopping con man.”
But here’s the thing, guys: Donald Trump was always going to do this. Trump can’t pivot, or adjust, or do anything but throw himself headlong into that big, beautiful wall he’s not going to build.
One year ago today, Donald Trump announced his campaign with the style and panache of a penguin falling off a bridge. Now, he’saccusing U.S. soldiers of stealing money in Iraq, he’s lying about immigration and terrorism, he’s straight-up accusing Obama of being in league with ISIS. And he’s demanding that GOP leadersjust shut up and take it.
This will never get better, y’all. Trump will never get better.
By endorsing (or supporting but not endorsing, whatever thatmeans) Donald Trump — a man who is undoubtedly the kind of person who orders for everyone at the table without asking, a man who wants to “open up” American libel laws — you asked for this. By stoking the fires of populist maniacs, you asked for this. And now you, and the Republican National Committee, too, have to be totally okay with it. All of it.
This is all. your. fault.

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